It's been Nine Years . . .

For several years we've been fumbling around with this anniversary business.  Trouble is that we were married outside the Church--back when we were pagans.  We had our marriage convalidated, so we have two dates:  pagan anniversary in August; sacramental anniversary in May.  What to do?

For years we did nothing, and usually ended up celebrating neither.  This year, we decided to celebrate our convalidation date as our "real" anniversary.  We're legally married nine years in August, but what's a few months after nine years?  What matters most is that we now live in Christ as one, and we're building on what we started with.  May God bless our efforts and continually shower us with his grace!

On this occasion, I've been composing little lists.  I've been thinking about our past, our future, and the man I love.  Here are those lists:

9 Most Memorable Events in our marriage

1. The time I got to leave the hospital early because my radiation levels were low enough.  I got to walk out of that lead-lined room and into Aaron’s arms.

2.  Attending Mass together at St. Thomas Aquinas for the first time, even though we were 15 minutes late because the sign out front was wrong

3.  Having our marriage convalidated on May 26, 2004 by Fr. Jim Dressman.

4.  Attending the Triduum Masses at St. Joseph’s, Willimantic, for the first time

5.  Going to the White Mountains in NH--our first family vacation

6.  Praying together over Uncle Bob when he died

7.  Getting a great job offer for Aaron when we were leaving grad school

8.  Moving into our very own house

9. Finding out I was almost 6 months pregnant with Evelyn

9 Things I’ve Learned from Aaron

1.  Being direct and assertive is sometimes a good idea and not at all scary

2.  It’s not necessary to be busy all of the time

3.  Being a faithful Catholic is antithetical to being a modern American

4.  Many doctors do not respect the basic dignity of their patients, but expect their patients to treat them as demigods

5.  Charlemagne was a Holy Roman Emperor, and chameleons are lizards

6.  Western intellectual history went in the toilet around the Reformation, and into the sewers with Rousseau, Hobbes, Bacon, Locke, Kant, Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, etc., etc.

7.  There is a good alternative to capitalism and socialism:  distributism

8.  People who know a lot about music/movies/TV don’t necessarily want to feel superior to the rest of us:  some actually enjoy those media, their history, variety and etc.

9.  Because ketchup is full of lycopene, it should be enjoyed in great quantities

9 Best Things we’ve watched together

 --that I probably would not have even given a second look without him

1.  Dexter

2.  Lost

3.  Arrested Development

4.  Soap

5.  Battlestar Gallactica

6.  Serenity/Firefly

7.  Twin Peaks

8.  Lord of the Rings

9.  My Name is Earl

9 Bands or Artists I now love or appreciate but never would have listened to without Aaron

1.  Steely Dan

2.  Flaming Lips

3.  Soul Coughing

4.  Clancy Brothers

5.  Chris Isaac

6.  Tom Jones

7.  Joe Jackson

8.  Butthole Surfers

9.  Tom Waits

Best Decisions of our married life

1.  Returning to the Church

2.  Ditching the contraceptives and embracing NFP

3.  Leaving grad school

4.  Arranging things so that I could stay home with the children

5.  Homeschooling our children

My 9 favorite things about our life together

1.  All the noise

2.  So many things to organize and plan

3.  So many people to knit for

4.  So many occasions to bake cakes for

5.  All the funny, insane things our kids do and say

6.  Kid snuggles and kisses

7.  The time that we have together by ourselves

8.  Dinnertime

9.  Bedtime

9 Things I’m most looking forward to in our married life together

1.  Bringing our children up in the faith together

2.  Many little dates for coffee, ice cream, walks or drives together

3.  All the movies and shows I never would have watched without his encouragement

4.  The routine:  work, rest, play, time together, sun, snow, holidays . . .

5.  Working on the house together

6.  Growing in holiness and faithfulness as a couple and family

7.  Babies, whether our own or grandchildren in the future

8.  Having a (sometimes) quiet house

9.  Visiting with our grown children and seeing their adult lives and homes and families

My 9 Favorite Things about Aaron

1.  He sings lullabies to the children

2. He makes up silly (or vulgar and crass) songs about everything, usually with ridiculous rhyme schemes.

3.  He’s almost always playful

4.  He’s hilarious and embarrassing

5.  He always is willing to say what polite people would not, usually with extra curse-words

6.  He knows everything about everything, except where things are in the household

7.  He makes the best ugliest faces I’ve ever seen.

8.  Many of his food preferences are disgusting, low-brow, blue-collar and involve bacon or red meat.  He’s not ashamed in the least.

9.  He knows how to make all of us laugh, especially when most of us are yelling/screaming/crying.

9 Best things about being married to Aaron

1.  He lets me organize and arrange our household, which means I order our lives, schedules, diet, plans, priorities, etc.

2.  When that work overwhelms me, he knows it.  He finds ways to create peace and quiet for me when I need it most.

3.  He handles all of the “rude” work in the household:  I never have to request refunds, talk to telemarketers or make complaints.

4.  He would welcome and love as many babies as we could have.

5.  He ADORES our children:  he plays with them, reads to them, prays with them, and is nothing but affectionate with them.  For a man with a temper, he hardly ever loses patience with them.

6.  He never lets me forget that he loves me, wants me close to him, and needs me.

7.  He’s got great stories and tells them well.  I can always count on him to be social and gregarious when I’m feeling quiet or busy.

8.  He never turns down a request for ice cream.

9.  When crazy stuff happens, like a cancer diagnosis in the first weeks of our marriage, or coming home to find me collapsed and unconscious, he never freaks out.  He’s calm, together and helpful.  I know I can rely on him no matter what happens.

Aaron, for these years, these kids, these wonderful memories, these occasions for hope and joy, and most of all, for your commitment to this life of ours:  thank you.  I love our home, our family, and most of all, you.  Without a doubt you are the man meant to help me get to heaven, and I am so glad to be yours.

Happy Anniversary!