Midway: some thoughts

We're more than halfway through the schoolyear now.  In the next week we'll forego History and Science until we're all well, but mostly we're on track and making good progress.  Beatle has started some preschool work (tracing, mazes, dot-to-dot, basic phonics, patterns, etc) and Doodle is chugging along.  Hard to believe, but we'll be finished in 15 weeks.

And then the baby will come.  I am just at 20 weeks now, and it's amazing to me that first it seems like the time is not passing at all, and that the time is flying by.  I know that 20 weeks is nothing in the springtime--Lent arrives soon, and then we'll be warming up in no time and then it will be Easter.  Plenty of wonderful lies ahead.

This time around I'm more concerned about my current baby (or Toddler, as she reminds me now) passing the torch.  I worried with Doodle, and it turns out that he loves all babies everywhere--even the ones who supplant him.  I did not worry so much with Beatle, mainly because she is so independent that in spite of being only 19 mos, she had long since left babyhood when her sister came along.  Miss Lulu, though, likes to be near her mama.  Partly it's because lately she's not been feeling well--with this flu, even she's been feverish and out of sorts.  There was weaning, too, which she fought valiantly.

Then there's the me part of the worries.  She's so little!   How am I going to push her away?  This child who is so dear to me--who came as a surprise and such a blessing--how am I going to put her aside for someone new?

Why does it feel like that?  I know that of course there will still be time for loving on her, reading to her, holding her, etc., and that's why the Good Lord gave us slings.  I also know that a new baby--especially King babies--make their presence known, and usually have some demands that Must Be Met.

So here I am, midway, and I'm turning pretty regularly to our merciful Lord.  After all, he loves all of us (all of us!) and doesn't have any trouble multiplying it out and distributing it.  Asking for graces--that's the way to go here.  I'm thankful, too, because of his wise, wise plan in this matter as in all of them.  Nine months is a lot of time to foresee the difficulties, to ask for help, and to begin preparing the whole family for someone new.  While sometimes I wish time wouldn't drag and we could just have the baby here, thank God he's given us a space to anticipate and prepare.  Honestly, I love that part, too.

Right now I know the answer is to set aside some of those tasks on the almighty To Do (or To Knit) List, to scoop up my Toddler and reassure her that I love her and want to be with her.  I can show her now that being with her is wonderful to me, though there are other wonderful things to do, too.  Sacrifice a little of the busy for my little lady--with some prayers, I can do it.