Obedience

I think it's hard for most of us to be obedient.  We live in a time that encourages us--especially women--to imagine that we are gods of our own little worlds.  It's a silly sham, but it appeals to deep urges in us--urges that go all the way back to our first parents.

What I'm noticing is that the nearer I try to align my will with God's, the easier it is.  It's as if obedience and openness to his will put me in the groove--I don't want to defect!  Instead of earning this or having that, I'm thinking of heaven.  I'm thinking of holiness, which is really only doing God's will instead of my own.

But it wasn't always this way.  I had goals, plans and ideas:  I had a very good sense of how my life should be and what I wanted to do.  I was in charge:  I could make things happen and feel good that they had happened.  I didn't have to think about what I was meant to do, or how my little plans and ideas might reflect some higher purpose.  It was mine and I was in charge.  Never mind that my life was never my own, or that it was a gift and a blessing.

Funny that when the little sham comes crumbling, obedience doesn't look so hard.  Giving God's will a try--why not?  Why not ask him what he has in mind?  Why not speak to him as the day proceeds to ask for help and direction?  Why not give over that sense of power and control?  Why not be led like a sheep?

So many times in scripture he's told us that we are sheep--His sheep.  He's the shepherd, and he's given us shepherds in his stead to lead us here.  Even with all this help, he knows it's hard for us to submit, to lay down our wills at his feet and to do his work.  So he follows us:  he waits for us.  He inspires us to ask for help and to look his way.  What a generous Lord!

I'm still learning how to submit and obey--those are not my strong suits.  Looking at that very weakness--self-centered willfulness--I am drawn ever closer to the sources of his grace.  It's not on my own strength or power that I get to him:  it's through obedience and seeking to do his will.  May God help me to put aside my own will in all that I do.