Accepting help

Being an independent person--one of my greatest flaws, I think--it is difficult for me to accept help.  I can manage on my own, thank you is my usual attitude towards these things.  Housework, heavy lifting, errands, care of children . . . of course I can do it all and all the time, too.  Never mind I might be pregnant, healing from surgery, sick with the flu, living with a weird heart condition, etc.

The classic is in wintertime when the snow comes.  After chastening me several times for shoveling (even though, yes, I do have a capable husband and teenaged son), my neighbor now comes and snow-blows my drive.  Before I have time to wake up.  I have finally stopped making her go to war to help me out, because it was just ridiculous not to let her do something that I needed her to do that I shouldn't be doing on my own.

On Thursday night my poor husband got into an accident in the little car we inherited from his uncle.  It was a piece of crap, dinged on every side and the CHECK ENGINE light was perpetually on.  We were hoping it could hang on for another year or two until we got our finances in order, and then we would have resources to look for something fuel efficient.  Suddenly, in a moment of silly New England driving, we needed a car ASAP.

Our tax returns just came in, and even though that money was promised to something else, we at least had some disposable (ha ha--who has income that they can just "dispose of"?  Gamblers?) income to apply to a car.  We found a pretty old Honda with decent mileage--it should hang in there for another few years.

A few relatives have called to offer us financial help, and my first instinct is We've got it, thanks.  But the truth is that this comes at a particularly bad time for us.  We're trying to claw our way back from a few too many bills and a few too few clients on my list.  My income in the last two years has dwindled, but prices for gas, groceries, etc. have all been increasing.  We're treading water here (and are thankful that we can).

No one is just being polite by asking if they can assist us:  I know that those who have offered help can help and really mean to help us.  What I'm wondering now is why we wouldn't take their offers?  Some day we can help someone, too.  I need to learn a little humility and how to yield for sure, and allowing others to practice charity and generosity might just be what I need to do.