Coming down to it

What songs do I put on the playlists (mellow, intense/loud & upbeat)?
Do I need receiving blankets?
Should I get rid of a dozen prefolds in each size (since I have 3 and never use them all)?
Should I clean the windows even though the pollen-count is crazy high?
I haven't gotten a baby book yet.
I need to charge the camera battery and take a USB cable in my bag (which I haven't packed yet).

This is what keeps me up nights.  I'm on it, though it's driving me crazy not to have it all done today.  Right Now.

Coming down to New Baby's birth, I'm full of emotions, which I think is how it always is.  The last push of Must Do items is growing, but I'll take it.  That strong urge to prepare and make things right has replaced a more insidious feeling, and I welcome it.

In the last few days and weeks, I've felt an overwhelming dread and uncertainty about this birth.  Let's face it:  no one anywhere can tell me how it's going to go.  No one knows what might happen, or what is likely to happen, or what we can expect to happen.  I know that's true of all births, but in my mind, having to have an unexpected c-section is a different from getting a pretty powerful clap in the chest.

I'm not thinking about that right now (or ever).

Yesterday my prayers were answered, and our merciful Lord turned my eyes from birth to Baby.  As in, chubby cheeks, pursed lips and sweet yawns--all things I got to see clearly on my last growth scan.  Seeing this baby, with his Chesney forehead and short legs, his button nose and his little foot poised just under my rib, has completely shifted my focus.  All that fear and apprehension has vanished (thank you, Lord!).  I can almost smell him and feel that velvety new skin.  Oh my.  Babies are wonderful.

Truth is that it should only be sketchy for an hour or so.  An hour of uncertainty for the wealth of New Baby cuddling--what a consolation!  Past the birth (and let's be honest:  that's never my favorite part of the process anyway!), it's all joy and bliss just waiting for me.  Whereas before I dreaded the onset of labor, now I remember how much I want it to come and go so I can meet and love this little man.

Every time I look at a calendar I realize it could be any day, and thank God I'm ready for it.  The windows can be washed another day.