That silence you hear: that's the deep breath before the rant. Feel free to pass over this post if you're not interested in my hormonally-charged snit.
Did I say that I was doing NSTs (non-stress tests), and further that I'm only doing them to be a sweet and compliant patient, humoring the idiots over at maternal-fetal medicine? There is no indication for them whatsoever, except I have a check in the thyroid box on my medical history, and I'm abnormally old to be bearing children (36, gasp!).
I had thyroid cancer ten years (and four children) ago, and apparently that means my womb needs to be monitored. For what, even my endocrinologist cannot say. There is nothing about my condition whatsoever that warrants concern--nothing that would cause fetal distress. If I were hypothyroid and that were untreated (neither is the case), there is a chance the baby might not grow adequately. Although I am the opposite of hypothyroid--very demonstrably so--I submitted to growth scans to check the baby's development, which of course is 100% normal.
Which brings me to these stupid NSTs. Once a week (they wanted twice, but I declined) they hook me up to see the baby's heartrate accelerate and remain elevated for a certain period of time. They also want to see the heartrate stay at a baseline. Trouble is that I have a wakeful, active baby. Once he's awake and moving, he's not resting for another hour or two. Clear signs of distress and danger, or just my baby's nature?
This is the second week that he did not "behave" as the books say he should. When they began, he was resting quietly, so they woke him to get the acceleration they were looking for. After more than an hour, three littles in tow, New Baby had not settled back to a baseline heartrate. I had to take Lulu to the potty and the nurse went to clear my "abnormal" test results with the doctor.
Nay! he says. Back on the monitor!
So I refused. I told them it was unnecessary. All consternation ensued, and my doctor had to be consulted. Uppity pregnant lady in NST . . .
One of the docs in my practice calmly informed me that if I didn't go back on the monitor, they couldn't say for sure that my baby was getting enough oxygen or bloodflow. Hmmm. They couldn't guarantee that nothing would happen to him in the next 48 hours. Really.
I'm good with that, I said, since there are absolutely no signs of distress in this baby and nothing to indicate that this pregnancy is anything but normal. I'm doing the NSTs to humor you guys anyway--I have no interest in the test results.
I was polite. I didn't raise my voice. But dear readers, the whole thing is a ridiculous irritation to me. Caution and concern, fine--I'm willing to submit to a little monitoring. Short of being hooked up through the entire pregnancy, though, I'm not sure how they could guarantee all would be well. And even then, really, could they make every situation okay? Sorry, docs, but there's only one guy I have faith is omnipotent.
As it is, I'll take my chances that this baby who is growing as expected, whose fluid levels are good and who is very active and vigorous is going to be just fine. We have no reason to believe that he won't be fine. If he isn't, it won't be because we didn't monitor him!
At the end of a very uneventful pregnancy--thank you, Heavenly Father, for that--I don't need foolishness. I would like very much to attend to my business until it's time for this baby to come without unnecessary hassle. Unfortunately, until he is born, I'm going to have to put up with the hysterical hyperventilating of the medical community.
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